In this very strange world that we live in some people are questioning “why do women keep silent when they are raped or molested?”
Women have been behind closed doors for eons. About 60+ years ago the doors of education were opened and women of Post Independence, could walk out of the house and some could even work. The education that was provided taught history, geography, science, music and art – nowhere, did the system or the social set up guide or train on how to deal with the ‘Male Bastion’. Subtle words were coined, Glass Ceiling or Directors Couch, with in the higher economic world while in the lower eco-group every Galli in Hindi describes – no – decries womanhood. That profanity is now regular language as is what is done to them in the dark shadows!
The Veil is now lifting & the tiny feeble voices are garnering momentum, however, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Behind closed doors, in evil alleys, babies, young boys, girls continue to get assaulted! The craziness is not the assaulter because he/she is deranged, is inhuman. The insanity is the loving families, close friends & people of power watching – ‘Silently’ – condemning the Victim?
What stops a woman or man for speaking out against their abuser?
Reality 1: Man Rules.
The legal system favors the Man. If you could prove that the woman had an affair – the man got custody of the child – not uncommon for a male friend of the husband to say he had an affair with a woman who he considered Bhabi some weeks ago
Reality 2: The Ostrich Syndrome.
The Young Girls Parents, do not want to know or acknowledge that their child has been Molested or Raped and often will make her feel guilty as if it were her fault. Shockingly some parents may even know of what is happening within the confines of the home and look the other way
Reality 3: Girl, a Burden? //Lost, not Found
Married Women often end up in marriages that Abusive – Mentally, Emotionally or Physically or have some relative paw or rape them. How many Indian parents take their daughter back home?? Yet when she sets her self on fire without even leaving a note, because no one wants to hear her story anyway – then same parents shout Dowry Death! Where were you when your daughter’s cries were resounding in the walls of the trap she was in?
Reality 4: Money is Power
The Economic factor is a huge factor of women often being subjected to all kinds of abuse. Even if they pick up the courage to walk out or ‘#Me To’, where do they go and if they have children it gets compounded. Also where do you get the money to fight the long harrowing legal battle, which is by the way another trauma?
Reality 5: Boys Abused – Still Silent
The Men, who abuse have often suffered abuse as youngsters, they are stuck in the cycle of the predator – victim – predator as at some level they have they have to justify the the distortion of their lives. Women and children are the easier prey. Some even abuse girls the age of their Own daughters or younger!
Reality 6: The Male Child Fixation
Not all men have been victims. Some just get drunk with the power or the lack of power in their lives. Some of course are just Mama’s Boys who have never heard a ‘No’ and the Super Ego with a spot of alcohol is enough for them to justify their actions. Alternately, The Bro’ Culture often gets misplaced as it being okay to support and hide the dirty acts of the friends. The fear of being ousted from a Bro group is greater than the moral need to condemn or not support the act of murder, rape or molestation. This ‘Fires up’ the wrongful & makes them believe that they an get away with more … and they do.
Reality 7: Jekyll & Hyde’
Irrespective of the cause of the Man becoming the Predator. The fact is that they all lead ‘Jekyll & Hyde’ lives. One of the Honest and upright Family man, the other that sneaks away for the ‘Kill’. So when they are stripped in Public they will go ‘Any Length’ to prove the victim wrong and if they have money – its really not difficult to ‘buy’ a witness or influence the victim’s friends with promises or manipulate the system. Now the second Horror story starts for the Victim!
Reality 8: Silently Strangling Society
There are the Fence Sitters who are watching but are silent – they are no better than the perpetrators as they have no concern for the future of their own or another’s family or or the social fabric of which they are a part off. However, there are Strong Men and Women who understand what has gone wrong with the society and are lending their voice and support in any way possible. These are the people who Care & are truly Humane’.
Reality 9: Men – Speak up!
Women have spoken up on #Me Too. The men who have been victims of rape & Molestation are still Silent. The Social Stigma linked to their ‘Manhood’ is much higher.
Reality 10: Shame! Shame!
Most Abusers are known. How do comprehend what is happening to you when it is a father figure or like a brother or close friend. The Shock of the Guillotine, dumbs the Lamb. ‘You cannot understand it, if you have not experienced it’. Pray to God that you do not.
- They Silence of the daughters & hopefully sons have a Voice today because finally, there is Support for “Rape is Wrong”.
- The Screams of the past have converted to Voices for Justice because Men or Women are being assured Globally that “It was Not their Fault”
- The Awareness that “I am Not Alone” has changed the wave to a Tsunami!
- That Rape & Molestation is not a sporadic event, that “Being Abusive is a Disease”. The untouchable here is the Predator not the victim.
If that Boy or Girl was your daughter, Son, Sister, Brother, Mother, Father or you – would you ask why did you not scream loudly or would you focus on finding ways to help her/him to reset their lives instead being destroyed by the senseless, perpetrated act?
The question that should be asked is not whether women or men should speak up. Its more about whether as a society are we accepting of abuse. Look inside your homes and neighborhood. Doesn’t everyone know the Lechy Uncle and that creepy guy? Yet, no message is given to them & everyone looks away
The law will do what it has to do but as a society are we willing to ‘Ostracize’ the abusers.
Will your eyes, lips & heart condemn the Predator?
Will your eyes, lips & heart Support the Victimized child?