Suicide: Flash of Incomprehensible Despair
~ By Latika Narang
“The human mind is designed for life, not death.”
If someone takes their life it represents a huge aberration of the mind & soul of the individual; as taking one’s life is NEVER the plan of life.
Every time, the thought of taking one’s life occurs from a point of despair and hopelessness, a distraction, a thought or a reverse pull will neutralize it. It will be before a couple or more attempts that a person will be successful in transcending to the beyond. The initial attempts will be calls for help and attention to the fact that he, she or they are drowning in a sea of darkness as they are desperate for a solution that will take away their pain. The individual will rarely choose a terminal form of ending one’s life in the first instance. This is often a long build up & mostly attempted by individuals who are unable to manage, deal or find a solution to their depression which may originally stem from sadness, hurt, anger, pain or grief.
Exceptions to the rule may be in the instance of having been raped and the misplaced shame is greater than anger or righteousness. Another possibility could be that a person may be on psychiatric medication that has side effects with long term use and these act as the trigger to push them over the threshold. Alternately, they have made attempts that went unnoticed and the actual suicide may seem like the first attempt. One more exception could be if the individual is highly sensitive and normal emotions & feelings are magnified as a constant. If a person hurts a toe and has a normal sensitivity, he, she or they will hop around howling in pain but the same pain for a highly sensitive individual will be like a root canal without anaesthesia – insanely unbearable!
Taking one’s life is a decision that comes like a Flash in time and stays for a short duration for most people and its gone. In some cases, it’s long enough for the act itself and hence a undesirable fatal outcome.
Celebrities sometimes succumb to such an end. Often it is due to a deliberate drug overdose, sustained use of substance, long term depression or seemingly so as it is rarely conclusive if it is of their own accorded or assisted to that point. The world around celebrities’ fosters being on a high all the time. The pressure, competition and sheer posturing, forces them to lead parallel, reclusive or masked lives. The fact remains that they may have achieved success in their chosen field but they remain hurt, isolated, upset, pained humans that are unable to get out of the maze of doom that has surrounded them at that point of time. Irrespective of who you are the emotions and feelings remain the same irrespective of caste, creed, economic status or colour.
What can stop people from pulling the plug? Society is becoming disconnected, material, insular & isolated – where people need to constantly be on a false high. Creating channels of communications & having a ‘Safe’ place where we cannot be judged is most crucial. This is the point where the pressure can get released. Maintaining and building close relationships acts not only as glue but as a power supply which will allow us to live life to the fullest. In the absence of this power, the heart battery runs weak. It is unlikely that getting multiple
“Likes” on Facebook will keep a person back but the thought of leaving some one that one loves or something that is dear is huge & a real danger. Talk Therapy without serious meds is another source that can help a person get through a rough phase. In today’s world support systems like counsellor, friends & therapists are becoming more & more crucial. There too, a base of trust and confidentiality is key.
We as Indians mostly believe in Karma but rarely talk about it. Well, taking life is bad Karma, taking one’s own life included, as this life is a gift and it must not be thrown away. Perhaps if we explain the cause and effect it may become another pull to keep individuals on the brink to stay back and see this life through, from the darkness into the light that they have missed out on and may die to regret.
Kushal Punjabi, a famous actor, known for his acting skills took his life on 27 December, 2019. The newspaper talked about the ‘directions’ of what to do with his property and not to blame anyone. Story over?
Unfortunately, there will be no going back into the volcano of emotions and the depth of the feelings that drove him to plan his exit and then continued to haunt him all those precious seconds as he carefully executed himself from this role and lifetime!
This is new to us as a nation. As families have become smaller, dual income pressures, career aspirations, unbelievable stress in relationships, work, aspirations are now coming to an unbelievable peak!
According to the study conducted by the World Health Organisation (WHO) around 200 million people in India may suffer from depression, i.e. one in five people! They also pan across corporate, data indicates [Assocham] 42.5% Indian private sector employees are afflicted with general anxiety disorder or depression vs those in govt. jobs. At the home front 20% of Indian mothers are likely to be affected by postpartum depression. Just in Bangalore,
9.8 million teenagers in the age group 13-17 years suffer depression and other mental health disorders and are “in need of active intervention.
These are people around us and for many this is them. It is critical that the focus shifts to our emotions and more importantly how we make others feel, as that defines our behaviour, our life choices as well as that of others. We have to slow down and look at the people around us. Are you giving them enough attention, love and laughter?
Point of this life is happiness, yet the data clearly indicates that there is stub in the quality of individuals’ lives and we ‘the people’ are the end that is burning away slowly like a cigarette. Some throw it before it is completed while others drag on or hang on. That’s not the design of our lives for sure. We need to stop & take stock.
Time to wake up and let Kushal Punjabi’s death be the trigger to look in the mirror.